Frequently asked questions
How can I track my item?
Do you see any Teletubbies in here? Do you see a slender plastic tag clipped to my shirt with my name printed on it? Do you see a little Asian child with a blank expression on his face sitting outside on a mechanical helicopter that shakes when you put quarters in it? No?
Do you ship internationally?
Now that we know who you are, I know who I am. I’m not a mistake! It all makes sense! In a comic, you know how you can tell who the arch-villain’s going to be? He’s the exact opposite of the hero. And most times they’re friends, like you and me! I should’ve known way back when… You know why, David? Because of the kids. They called me Mr Glass.
Do you have gifts cards?
Well, that’s what you see at a toy store. And you must think you’re in a toy store, because you’re here shopping for an infant named Jeb.
Are all items new?
Like you, I used to think the world was this great place where everybody lived by the same standards I did, then some kid with a nail showed me I was living in his world, a world where chaos rules not order, a world where righteousness is not rewarded.
Which brands do you work with?
That’s Cesar’s world, and if you’re not willing to play by his rules, then you’re gonna have to pay the price.
What if I want multiple items?
Your bones don’t break, mine do. That’s clear. Your cells react to bacteria and viruses differently than mine. You don’t get sick, I do. That’s also clear. But for some reason, you and I react the exact same way to water. We swallow it too fast, we choke. We get some in our lungs, we drown.
Can I exchange my item?
However unreal it may seem, we are connected, you and I. We’re on the same curve, just on opposite ends.
Do you have a loyalty program?
Why don’t they know? If they don’t know, that means we never told anyone. And if we never told anyone it means we never made it back. Hence we die down here. Just as a matter of deductive logic.
How can I return an item?
You see? It’s curious. Ted did figure it out – time travel. And when we get back, we gonna tell everyone. How it’s possible, how it’s done, what the dangers are. But then why fifty years in the future when the spacecraft encounters a black hole does the computer call it an ‘unknown entry event’?